Everyone needs a my Megan

I have been meaning to write this post for the longest time, but could never find the right timing to do so. You see, it's all about my best friend and our friendship. She's a friend who has always been there for me, seen me through the awkward that was high school, our crazy college days, and now onto the journey of marriage and families. Let me tell you a little about my Megan.

The beginning of our friendship was something different, we met in middle school, she was scared of me because I walked around in my tall basketball socks at school (I'm sure her tale is much bigger) and I liked her despite her caked on foundation line. Together, our group of friends consisted of a future mother of 4 who spent high school skipping class and smoking on the infamous path; a girl who beat the odds, and obtained her masters degree, only to come back to a place she was dying to get away from the day we graduated high school; a now teacher who became homecoming queen as every one in school adored her; and us. A bunch of weirdos who bonded talking smack about doilies.

My Megan and I grew closer in our final years of high school. She was the one friend who never judged me, let me be me, and supported my every move (within reason). After I graduated from college, she attended another friend's wedding as my date. It was the last time I would see her for a year plus, as I was moving to California to follow my dreams the very next day. (Now, a year plus might not seem like much to you, but have I mentioned that I drove Megan home every day of our senior year after school? She lived a block away.) I will never forget her driving away in her red Pontiac, Claudia. My heart broke, shattering into pieces. Little did I know at the age of 24, that the distance would only strengthen the love that I have for that girl.

10 years later, Megan is still in our hometown in Minnesota and I'm far away in Colorado. There have been many a happy visits, weddings, and awesome conversations about life in those 10 years. My Megan has been the person I call after every doctors appointment once the manfriend and mom have been called. She's been the voice of reason, positivity, and comfort during our infertility journey.

In mid-March of this year I received a letter from Megan, dated March 1, 2013:

Hi Jess!

So, I have some news to tell you. I took a pregnancy test last Sunday, and it came up pregnant. I thought about calling you or telling you in person when you're in Minnesota, but then I decided to tell you in a card. :) (my period was actually implantation bleeding I think!)

I want you to be free to react to my news however you need to. I know how hard it's been on you watching others get pregnant and have babies this past year, and I didn't want to tell you in person and for you to feel like you had to act happy, you know? Don't feel like you have to pretend to be happy or excited.

Please, take as much time as you need to feel upset or mad or sad. You call or email or whatever when you're ready. You know I love you so, so much Jess! Other than Ade and my parents, you are the only person I've told. Our due date is October 25th, which means 1st trimester end early April. We'll tell everyone then, so keep this a secret until then. :) I pray every single day for you and (husband). :)

Know that I love you and am always here for you. Excited to see you in a few weeks!!

Love,
Megan

She seriously is the best friend EVER.

For those of you wondering what my first reaction was, I sat in my car alone, excited to get mail from my Megan, crying because I was angry, upset, mad, jealous about her news. But, so happy because it finally happened for them. They had been trying almost a year with no luck, Megan had asked me how I managed to try and fail month after month, that she was getting frustrated and feeling let down. I told her that you have to remain positive and remember there's always next month. As infertility is something I would never wish upon my worst enemy, it's definitely something I wouldn't wish upon someone I love.

Megan put her feelings of excitement and joy aside when writing me that letter. There's no greater love than that. I cry now when I think of how much I care for her and this letter. You see, other than my immediate family and husband, she knows me too well. She knew that telling me in a letter, a week before I was flying home to see her, was the best way to give me time and space to react, get my shit together, and be excited because MY BEST FRIEND IS HAVING A BABY!!

Throughout her pregnancy, my Megan spent too much time worrying about me, putting my feelings first, and putting herself second. She was often too worried about how my doctors appointments were going or how I was feeling. I'd ask how she was doing, how she was feeling only to get 'blah' responses from her. From Colorado, it felt as if she wasn't taking the time to be happy for herself.

Megan was about 7 months when she final realized that she needed to celebrate the baby in her belly and to be happy for herself. And that she did. :) And, now I'm proud to announce that Megan and her husband are proud parents of a happy and healthy baby girl, Molly. I'm an aunt!! She's just as beautiful as her mom is, and I cannot wait to meet her!

For those of you in my life who have yet to tell me that you're pregnant because of how I might react, learn from Megan. Tell me however you want, but just remember that you might not get the reaction you're looking for. But, please, whatever you do, don't treat me like a delicate flower. It will only be awkward if you make it awkward. Contrary to popular belief, I am not angry with mom-to-be's or current mothers, simply jealous.

I am one of the lucky ones. I have a best friend who is the simply the best. (As well as a kickass family and many other friends, I didn't forget you!) I hear horror stories in the infertility community of parents, other family members, and friends who are completely unsupportive of their loved ones and continue to say all the wrong things, prompting different kinds of separation. This saddens me to the core, as I have my Megan. I would have lost my way many a times without her. I only wish that all other ladies who are experiencing infertility had a Megan to talk to.